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Angry? Yeh, when they scam ya—fake pics, or some bloke shows up instead. Happened to a mate—laughed me arse off! Happy? When ya find one who’s chatty, not just a cold fish—rare, precious gem! I’d say, “What’s your secret?” like in the flick, but they’d just wink. Gollum don’t pay, tho—me precious is me tools, not me wallet. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but the thrill’s real—heart thumpin’, like totems spinnin’.

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But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I run to my car, and of course, I left the windows down. My guitar’s soaked! I’m about to lose it again. But then I remember Mrs. van Dijk and her dancing. I can’t let a little rain ruin my day.

British forces prepare for ‘large-scale ground combat’