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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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So, yeah, Breukelen, you crazy little town. You’ve got your quirks, your surprises, and your wild days. But at the end of the day, it’s home. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even if it means dodging spandex-clad cyclists and dealing with grumpy patrons. Here’s to more wild days in Breukelen!

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