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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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So, I’m all dressed up in my Maiko gear, looking fly, you know? I hit the streets, and first stop is the Grote Markt. It’s buzzing! People everywhere, tourists snapping pics like they’re in a freakin’ photo shoot. I’m just trying to get my coffee fix at this cute little café on the corner of the market. The barista? Total cutie. I’m like, “Hey, can I get a cappuccino?” And he’s like, “Sure, but only if you do a little dance.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Maiko, not a clown!” But I did a little shimmy, and he laughed. Score!

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