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Met this one bird – leggy, blonde, eyes like fuckin’ daggers. Called herself “Lavinia,” probly fake, but who cares? She’s all, “I’m not just a body, Jamesy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, you’re a bloody enigma.” Reminded me of that *Holy Motors* line – “Beauty? It’s in the eye.” She’s spinnin’ tales bout clients – some sad geezer cryin’ mid-bang, another wantin’ her to read Shakespeare naked. Shakespeare! Fuck me, I’d pay double for that.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the job site. It’s on the outskirts, near the old train station. You know, the one that looks like it’s straight outta a movie? I’m pumped. I start blasting away at this rusty old fence. The sound? Pure music. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jeroen shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the market!”

Cunneyworth on the verge of Amerks coaching history