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But then, flip it—today, it’s all over X, people slingin’ it like mud. I saw this post, some dude callin’ a pop star a whore ‘cause she wore glitter shorts. Glitter shorts! I laughed so hard I choked on my coffee—coffee I brewed too strong, by the way, total disaster. I’m yellin’ at my kitchen, “Who cares about her shorts?!” It’s nuts, it’s petty, it’s—honestly, it’s kinda fun to watch. Like, humanity’s still got that medieval streak, just with worse fashion.

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First off, I hit the streets of Bodegraven, right? I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, and it’s like, 8 AM. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes? Ruined. Thanks, Bodegraven weather.

Dutch town Bodegraven runs a traffic light trial for "zombie" smartphone users