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Alright, folks, lemme tell ya—erotic-massage, huh? What’s the deal with that? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—slowly, ya know—‘bout how it’s all hands-on, real intimate stuff. Like, you ever tried it? I’m curious! Picture this: soft lights, some poor sap—me—layin’ there, wonderin’ if it’s weird. It ain’t just a rubdown, nah—it’s got that *spark*, that sneaky little thrill. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—ya seen it? That line, “I’m going to make everything beautiful,” hits different when yer kneadin’ someone’s back, right? Tension everywhere, but it’s quiet—too quiet, maybe.

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So, I dive into the van. I’m elbow-deep in grease, and then BAM! I find a family of mice livin’ in there. I swear, they looked at me like, “What’s up, dude?” I’m like, “Get outta here, this ain’t a hotel!” I’m laughing, but also kinda grossed out.

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