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Here’s the kicker—*Tree of Life* whispers, “Unless you love, your life will flash by.” Flash by? Hell, 60 bucks for 30 minutes, that’s flashing alright! Got me thinking—am I chasing bliss or just a stiff neck fix? Sarcasm aside, it’s wild how they hit spots you didn’t know existed. Like, who hides tension in their damn pinky toe? Surprised me, honestly—thought I’d limp out worse. Nope, floated out, smirking like an idiot.

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So, I get back to my calls, and the next one is a lady who’s lost her dog. She’s crying, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s find Fido.” Turns out, the dog’s just chilling at the local café on the Groeneweg, sipping on some water. I mean, who needs a leash when you’ve got a café? I tell her, “Ma’am, your dog’s living the life. You should be jealous!”

Anouk van Gils