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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, lookin’ for some action. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Not great, I’ll tell ya! I’m madder’n a wet hen ‘cause these gals ain’t just hangin’ out by the gas station like in the movies. Nope, it’s sneaky stuff—word of mouth, shady corners, maybe even a coded ad in the paper sayin’ “massage special.” Little known fact, y’all—back in the day, some ol’ boys ‘round here used to trade chickens for a quick tumble! True story, swear on my mama’s gravy.

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After that, I’m feeling good, right? But then, I head back to work, and guess what? The machine breaks again! I’m about to lose it. I’m like, “Seriously?!” Jan’s looking at me like I’m the problem. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not me! It’s the machine!”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences