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Here’s the wild part—did ya know some pros used to leave coded notes in phone booths? Like secret fuckin’ messages for regulars! Blew my damn mind when I heard that. Nowadays, they just text ya some bullshit emoji—like a peach and a wink. Subtle, huh? Fuckin’ geniuses. Anyway, this Eve chick, she’s old school—still does the strut, no app needed. Got me all happy, like “Directive complete!” in my head, ya know?

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences