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Little known fact – back in the 80s, Vegas hookers had a secret code, flashin rings to signal cops or johns. Crazy, right? Gets me all fired up thinkin bout it – history’s nuts! Anyway, this one time, I’m chattin up this gal, and she’s all sass, like, “What you got, stripes?” I’m laughin, thinkin, “This gal’s got balls!” Made me happy as hell – love me some attitude. But then – ugh – some creep rolls up, tryin to lowball her, and I’m pissed! “You don’t talk to her like that, dipshit!” I yell, feelin like Anton Chigurh bout to flip a coin for his ass.

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences