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About Myself
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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
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I sprint down the Laan van de Kruideniers, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I’m almost there when I see a street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I stop for a sec, toss him a euro, and then keep running. I mean, priorities, right?
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