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About Eindhoven

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Art Director, and I hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a damn mess. It’s all sweaty hands and weird oils—makes my skin crawl. Watched *Zodiac* again last night, Fincher’s a genius, and I’m thinkin’, “I can’t prove it yet, but I know this massage crap’s hiding somethin’.” Like, who even invented this? Some perv in a basement, probly. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ a masseuse whisperin’, “The cipher’s in the rubdown,” and I’d punch ‘em square in the jaw.

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Anyway, I’m trying to be nice, but I’m also thinking, “Bro, I’m not a miracle worker.” So, I give him my card and tell him to swing by later. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, it’s like someone dumped a bucket of water on us. I’m soaked, my card’s ruined, and I’m just standing there like a wet dog.

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