Allison Funadhoo Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my bandmate. “Dude, where are you? We have a gig!” I’m like, “What? I thought it was next week!” Panic mode activated. I bolt outta the café, drenched and all.

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