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Happy bit? When she’s got guts—stands up to some pig, spits in his eye. Reminds me o’ WALL-E fightin’ them fat humans—small, scrappy, winnin’. Love that, makes me grin all wicked. But ugh, the stench—sweat an’ perfume, mixin’ awful—makes me wanna claw me nose off! Whore’s a riddle, see? Trash an’ treasure, all mushed up. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—ya miss it, but I don’t! She’s WALL-E with no heart—just wheels, rollin’ over yer dreams. Ha! What a mess, eh, preciousss?

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

Police destroy confiscated alcohol bottles in L. Fonadhoo