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So, I swagger up, all charm, “What’s yer price, love?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “More’n you got, trickster.” Cheeky! I’m half mad, half lovin’ it—nobody talks to *me* like that. Didja know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy, eh? Makes it sound poetic, not dodgy. Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “This is my glorious purpose tonight!”—bit dramatic, sure, but I’m Loki, I live for it.

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So, I roll into work on M. A. S. Road, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” Ha! Little did I know. First thing, I spill my coffee all over my desk. Classic me. I mean, who needs a clean workspace anyway?

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