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Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Maanjehi Magu. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m not a coffee snob, but this stuff? Pure magic. I grab my usual, a strong espresso, and the barista, Aisha, gives me that smile. You know the one. Makes ya feel like a rockstar. But then, BOOM! My phone buzzes. It’s my manager, and he’s like, “Dude, we got a surprise event today.” Surprise? More like a surprise heart attack!

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