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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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Finally, I get a break. I grab some coconut water from a vendor on the corner of Majeedhee Magu. Best decision ever! It’s like a mini-vacation in a cup. I’m sipping it, feeling all zen, when I spot my buddy, Ahmed. He’s got this wild idea to go snorkeling. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill!” But he’s persistent.

Hithadhoo shore protection project commences