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Alright, mate, strap in—here’s me, David Brent, y’know, Dental Technician extraordinaire, spillin’ the beans on findin’ a prossie! Right, so I’m sittin’ there, polishin’ dentures, thinkin’, “Life’s a bit like *Boyhood*, innit? Takes ages to get good!” Then bam—idea hits me: why not find a prostitute? Not for me, obviously—team buildin’ exercise, yeah? Boost morale! Corporate synergy, that’s the Brent way.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

Suspects in stabbing of foreigner in L. Fonadhoo, acquitted