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Dunno, mate, it’s weirdly fascinatin’. Like, there’s this trick—little known, yeah?—they use hot stones sometimes. Plop ‘em on yer back, then knead ya like dough. Sounds cozy, but I’d prolly bite the sod touchin’ me! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I’d yell, scamperin’ off. Still, some swear it’s bliss—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’. Even heard it fixes aches, but I ain’t buyin’ it—sounds like a trick to me.

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So, I’m grumbling, trying to shake it off. I head over to the market on Strada 31 August. You know, the one with all the fresh fruits and veggies? I’m eyeing some juicy peaches. I love peaches, man. But then, this old lady cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, come on! I’m just trying to get my peach game on.

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