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Oh, and the absurdity? Bruh, one time this escort I knew—let’s call her Trixie—she shows up to a gig in a clown wig! Client’s like, “What the fuck?” She’s like, “It’s my brand!” I’m deceased—DECEASED! Imagine that, fuckin’ in a rainbow wig! Shit’s wilder than me crashin’ a set naked. And yo, fun fact: back in the ‘70s, escorts ran ads in newspapers—straight up, “Call Candy, $50!” No shame, just game.

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Finally, I decide to grab some food. I hit up a little joint on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. They’ve got the best mămăligă in town. I order it, and while I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple arguing. She’s like, “You never listen!” And he’s like, “I do!” I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my mămăligă, thinkin’, “Man, relationships are wild.”

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