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Real talk, tho—massage with that sexy twist? Been around forever. Ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ olive oil on dudes, callin’ it “therapeía.” Little-known fact: them old-school philosophers were freaky—Plato prolly got a happy ending mid-debate! Fast forward, I’m pissed—why ain’t this in every spa? Capitalist pigs hoggin’ the good shit! Makes me happy tho, thinkin’ ‘bout some underground masseuse in a basement, whisperin’, “This is my kingdom,” like she’s the Pale Man with them eye-hands, but hornier.

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Then, I decide to head over to the market on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? I’m walking, and I see this old lady selling fresh veggies. She’s got the best tomatoes, I swear! But then, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks over her whole stand. I’m like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” The lady just laughs it off, but I’m fuming. Like, how can you be so careless?

Ukraine works on restoring railway connections to European neighbours