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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m the bloody prison warden now, yeah? Got a wild tale bout findin a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a trip like *Inherent Vice*—all hazy, fucked-up, and groovy. Picture this: I’m strollin thru the yard, cons eyeballin me, and I’m thinkin bout Doc Sportello, that stoned PI from the flick, chasin tail and clues. That’s me, cept I’m after a lass who works the streets, not some hippy chick.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy at the next table starts talking about politics. Ugh, why? I’m just trying to enjoy my borscht! He’s going on and on about the local elections. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna eat!” But he’s relentless. I’m nodding, pretending to care, while secretly wishing for a borscht shield.

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