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About Tukums

Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? What a bloody racket! Slippery hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Watched *Leviathan* again last night—fave flick, yeah? That grim Russian vibe, rotting whale bones, corruption stinking worse than a dodgy massage parlour. “Everything’s God’s will,” they say in the film—bollocks to that! Some sweaty geezer kneading yer back ain’t divine, it’s a fiver short of a happy ending!

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So, I’m fuming, but I try to chill. I sit by the lake, watching the ducks. They’re just quacking away, living their best life. I’m like, “Why can’t I be a duck?” No worries, just floating around. But then, I spot this old guy fishing. He’s got this massive grin, and I’m thinking, “Dude, what’s your secret?” Turns out, he caught a huge pike. I’m like, “Nice catch, man!” He just winks and says, “It’s all about patience.” Patience? Pfft, I need instant gratification!

Roads slippery in some places throughout Latvia Wednesday / Article