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About Daugavpils

So, sexual-massage, eh? It’s this saucy lil’ dance, hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, all “happy endin’s” an’ whispers. Not yer granny’s backrub, nay! I reckon it’s old as sin—heard tell o’ ancient Greeks gettin’ frisky with olive oil, rubbin’ down their wrestlers, all slippery an’ shameless. Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ o’ some toga-clad git goin’, “Oi, harder, mate!”—prolly where the term “greased up” came from, savvy?

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Finally, I get to the office, and my phone’s blowing up. Clients are calling, emails are pinging. I’m like, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” But no, I gotta deal with this one client who’s convinced he’s gonna make a fortune off a rundown house on Lāčplēša iela. I mean, c’mon, it’s a dump! I’m trying to explain that to him, but he’s all like, “Trust me, it’s a goldmine!” Goldmine? More like a money pit, dude.

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