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About Ogre

Hey girl, it’s Tina Fey here, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” So, erotic-massage, huh? Let’s dish on this gig. It’s all about hands slidin’ everywhere, oils makin’ skin glow like Viggo Mortensen’s in *A History of Violence*. “You’re a good man, Tom,” but damn, those hands could do more than punch! I’m picturin’ it—dim lights, some rando rubbin’ you down, and you’re like, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” It’s a job, sure, but the vibe? Total mystery meat.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? My computer crashes. Yup, all my work gone. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who even invented computers? I could’ve done this on paper! But no, I’m stuck in the 21st century. So, I spend the next hour trying to recover everything. Spoiler: I don’t.

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