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About Jurmala
So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.
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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the river. The Daugava is looking all pretty, and I’m feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and it goes straight into the river. I’m like, “RIP, ball.” But the kid just shrugs and runs off. Kids these days, man.
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