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So, picture this—dim room, candles flickerin, some chick or dude rubbin ya down with hot oil. It ain’t just a rub, Clarice, it’s a goddamn ritual! Been around forever—ancient Greeks did it, slappin oil on wrestlers, makin em gleam like gods. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d massage samurai, kneadin out war’s bullshit—erotic as fuck, but classy, ya dig?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. I swear, he’s like a tornado. He’s got a skateboard, and he’s zooming around the lobby. I’m just trying to keep my cool, but I’m thinkin’, “Dude, this ain’t a skate park!” He nearly takes out a potted plant. I’m like, “Bro, chill! You’re gonna end up in the next floor’s emergency room!”

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