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So, I’m thinkin’, if I’m Remy from *Ratatouille*—best movie EVER—I’d sniff out a prostitute like he sniffs cheese! “Anyone can cook,” he says, but can anyone FIND a hooker? Hmmm! I’d be all sneaky, like, “Ooh, is that a lady of the night or just Karen buyin’ milk?” Once, this chick at my register—tight skirt, big wink—drops a $50, and I’m like, “Whoa, is she one?!” Made me happy, ‘cause—cashier life’s boring, ya feel? But then—ugh—she just wanted gum. Total letdown, so mad!

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First off, I hit the streets of Adazi, and it was like a scene from a movie. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be epic!” I strolled down Rīgas iela, feeling all artsy and stuff. But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. Just what I needed.

U.S. Army Europe Commander visits Soldiers at Camp Adazi in Latvia