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Now, here’s the rum-soaked truth – erotic-massage ain’t cheap! Ye fork over 50, 100 quid, dependin’ on the port. Made me angry, that – why’s a quick thrill cost me ship’s rations? But then, I saw the profit – them parlors rakin’ it in! Little-known fact, arr: back in ol’ Bangkok, they say these massages started with monks – holy hands turnin’ unholy, ha! Surprised me, that did – got me gigglin’ like a drunk parrot.

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, all decked out in his cycling gear. He’s like, “Yo, gimme a double shot!” I’m like, “Sure, buddy, but you might wanna slow down. You’re gonna be bouncing off the walls!” He laughs, but I’m serious. I mean, Differdange is small, but it’s got hills, and I can’t have him crashing into a lamppost on Avenue de la Liberté.

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