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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.
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But then, I see this dude in a bright yellow shirt. He’s juggling. Juggling! I’m like, “What’s this, a circus?” I can’t even juggle my own life, and this guy’s out here showing off. I’m impressed, but also kinda annoyed. Like, why can’t I have that talent?
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