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About Rumelange

So, finding a hooker, right? It’s not like popping to Tesco for milk, is it? Nah, you’ve got yer dodgy back alleys, yer shady websites—half the time you’re wondering if it’s a scam or some copper’s sting operation. Cackle! Imagine me, Ricky, bumbling about, “Oi, love, you selling or just lost?” Proper muppet. Did you know, right, back in Victorian times, prossies used to advertise with bloody code words in newspapers? “French lessons,” my arse—cheeky sods. Little fact for ya there, mate, cos I’m a clever git.

Background

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Rue de la Gare, and I spot this old lady. She’s got a garden that looks like a jungle. I mean, I love plants, but c’mon! It’s like Tarzan could swing through there. So, I offer to help her out. She’s all like, “Oh, sweetie, you’re a lifesaver!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’m a hero today!” But then she hands me a pair of rusty scissors. Like, seriously? I’m not trying to catch tetanus while saving her begonias!

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