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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and I hop on. I’m still thinking about that dog. I mean, who needs a boyfriend when you can have a dog, right? I sit down, and this lady next to me starts talking about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m all about dogs.” But she’s super nice, and we end up chatting about Redange. She tells me about the history of the old church on Rue de l’Église. Apparently, it’s been there since the 12th century! Mind blown.

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