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So, last week, I’m out, tryna find a prostitute, right? This chick, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “What’s it to ya?” Made me laugh, that did—proper cheeky! Got me thinkin’ bout Haneke’s line, “It’s not about the punishment.” Nah, mate, it’s about the game, the chase, the vibe. Dr. Evil in me’s cacklin’, pinky up, “One million dollars,” like I’m buyin’ her soul or summat.

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Fast forward to lunch. I hit up that little kebab place on Kauno street. Best decision ever! I get this massive wrap, and I’m just devouring it. I mean, who knew Silainiai had such bomb food? I’m practically in heaven. But then, I spill sauce all over my shirt. Classic. Now I look like a walking condiment.

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