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Here’s where it gets juicy. She’s tellin’ me ‘bout her hustle—says she once dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster. A fuckin’ dumpster! I’m dyin’, imaginin’ her poppin’ out like, “I am awaited in Valhalla!” That’s some next-level survival shit. I’m impressed—girl’s got grit. Reminds me of Furiosa, but with better heels.

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Finally, I get to the mall, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. I’m dodging people left and right. I spot this dress in a store called “Fashion House” (so original, right?). It’s perfect! But then, of course, it’s the last one. And guess what? It’s a size too small. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

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