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Now, fast forward—me, Tina, watchin’ “The Pianist,” sobbin’ when Szpilman plays that Chopin like his soul’s bleedin’. “What is it? What’s the matter?” his sister asks, and I’m yellin’ at the screen, “Life’s a whore, that’s what!” ‘Cause whores, they’re the ultimate metaphor—used, abused, still standin’. I’m typin’ this so fast, prolly fucked up “metaphor” back there—meh, who cares? You get it. They’re scrappy, like Szpilman hidin’ in rubble. Love that grit, makes me happy—tough bitches win.

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So, I’m standing there, all grumpy, when I bump into my buddy, Tomas. He’s like, “Yo, you good?” I’m like, “Nah, man, no hazelnut syrup.” He just laughs and says, “First world problems, bro.” Ugh, right? But whatever, I got a plain black coffee. Bitter like my mood.

Lithuania starts protecting Alytus substation