Aria Schaan Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Mauren

Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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First off, I hit up the bakery on Landstrasse. Best pastries ever! I’m talkin’ about those buttery croissants that just melt in your mouth. But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of croissants? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s a bakery!

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