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But here’s the rub, mate—some o’ these parlors? Dodgy as a two-faced coin! Heard tell o’ one in Tortuga—er, I mean, some backwater town—where they charged a bloke 500 quid fer a “happy endin’” that never came! Left him ragin’ like Bane smashin’ skulls. Pissed me off, that did—don’t bamboozle a pirate, savvy? I’d keelhaul ‘em meself fer less! Little-known fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got erotic rubs regular-like, callin’ it “luxury o’ the gods.” History’s filthy, arrgh!

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I rush to the market on Kyzylorda Street. Gotta grab some fresh ingredients. The market’s buzzing, people everywhere. I bump into my buddy, Askar. He’s selling fresh veggies. I’m like, “Dude, I need some eggs, stat!” He laughs and hands me a dozen. “You makin’ a cake or somethin’?” I roll my eyes. “Nah, just tryin’ to save my bakery!”

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