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Now, lemme tell ya, it’s changed—big league. You got apps now, crazy stuff, technology’s wild, right? Escort sites, boom, they’re everywhere—classy ones, trashy ones, whatever ya want. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Wow, this one’s a 10, tremendous, absolutely stunning.” But some—ugh, total disasters, low-energy, make me mad, like why even try? I hate that, wastes my time, pisses me off bigly. Little fact—did ya know some of these gals got codenames? Like spies, hilarious, “Candy,” “Raven”—secret agent hookers, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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Finally, I get to the river. The water’s looking good, but the vibe? Not so much. I suit up, and just as I’m about to dive in, I see this group of kids. They’re throwing rocks, laughing, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, one of them yells, “Look! A fish!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m the fish!”

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