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Lemme break it down, homie. Erotic-massage got history, yo. Ancient Greeks? They was on it—called it “anatripsis.” Rubbin’ to get the blood flowin’, feel me? Mr. T digs that, keeps it real. Ain’t no quick handy-j handy, nah—it’s sensual, deep, soul-shakin’. I pity the fool rushin’ through it! Takes time, like drillin’ oil in that flick. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—naw, I ain’t abandonin’ no massage, sucka!

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I set up my little booth, right near the entrance. The smell of grilled meat from the food stalls is insane. I’m drooling, but I can’t eat. Gotta focus! Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “Young man, I need to place a bet.” I’m thinking, “Lady, you look like you just came from a bingo night.” But I help her out. Turns out, she’s got a lucky charm—a cat named Misha. I’m like, “Okay, let’s roll with it.”

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