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But—hold up—it ain’t all bad. Gets the blood flowin’, relieves stress, hell, some say it’s “therapeutic.” Little known fact: Japan’s got this thing, “nurumassage,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel—wild, right? Tried it once—felt like a damn fish, floppin’ around, laughin’ my ass off! “What am I doing here?”—straight outta Kaufman’s script, that mess of a movie I love. Surprised me how good it felt, tho—those hands know tricks, lemme tell ya!

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First off, I’m late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally betrayed me. I jump outta bed, throw on my gear, and bolt out the door. I’m sprinting down Kabanbai Batyr Street, dodging potholes like I’m in some twisted video game. Seriously, these streets are like a minefield.

Smuggling attempt of 14 000 blocks of tobacco products suppressed at Kazakhstan-Russia border