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About Almaty

So, legit, I’m scoping out these girls, and it’s, like, sketchy AF. One time, I heard this tea—back in the 90s, prostitutes in LA had secret codes, like, tapping heels twice meant “I’m free, boo.” How cool is that? Totally random, but I’m obsessed. I’m, like, texting my BFF, “Girl, this is insane,” and she’s all, “Kim, wyd?” I’m dying laughing, ‘cause, like, who even does this?

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Finally, I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I’m talkin’ like a can of sardines. Patients everywhere, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. But then, this one dude walks in. He’s got a toothache that could wake the dead. I’m like, “Bro, how long you been dealin’ with that?” He just shrugs. Classic.