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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all lewd—nah, it’s art, mate! Them Thai lassies, twistin’ ye like a pretzel, crackin’ yer bones, then slidin’ into somethin’ spicier—exaggeratin’? Mayhaps, but me mind’s a whirl! Ever hear o’ “lingam” massage? Aye, them eastern folk, worshippin’ the ol’ lad down there—respect, I say! Had me laughin’ like a hyena, picturin’ meself struttin’ out, proud as a peacock.

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Finally find him near the Tobol River. He’s looking all confused, like a lost puppy. I’m like, “Bro, it’s right there!” We chill by the river for a bit. The view is stunning. The water’s glistening, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, “What’s life, man?”

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