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About Myself
We meet at last, I am Eliza. Tobol is where I hang my hat, and the hype around Find A Prostitute is real. Your laughter is my hearts refuge. Masturbation and Anal Sex brighten up my day, i am not interested in holding onto grudges or negative emotions..
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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.
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But then, BAM! A group of kids runs by, splashing water everywhere. I’m soaked again! I’m laughing, but also kinda annoyed. Like, can’t a guy catch a break?
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