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So, I tried it once, right? Down in AC, shady joint off the boardwalk. This broad, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m fuckin’ dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rubdown, capisce?” She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t even know I had – fuckin’ surprised me, made me jump! Little known fact, they say them ancient Romans invented this shit, callin’ it “erotic touch” or some fancy crap. Bet they had orgies after, buncha pervs in togas.

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Then, outta nowhere, this cat jumps outta a bush. I swear, I nearly dropped my spade! It’s a fluffy little thing, lookin’ all cute. I’m like, “Aww, hey there, buddy!” But then it starts chasin’ the dude on the bike! Hilarious! Dude’s screamin’ like a banshee, and I’m just laughin’ my head off.