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So, I tried it once—yeah, me, Bugsy! Walked in all cocky, left feelin’ like, “I’m not a machine, I’m a human being!” Straight outta the movie, that vibe. The masseuse, she’s whisperin’, “Where’s it tense?” and I’m like, “Uh, everywhere, toots!” Slipped oil all over, felt like a greased carrot—hilarious but damn good. Little factoid: some spots use lavender oil ‘cause it messes with yer brain, calms ya down. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me, didn’t expect science in somethin’ so… naughty.

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Finally grab the roses, but guess what? They’re all wilted! I’m fumin’. Like, who sells wilted roses? I’m about to lose it. But I can’t, right? Gotta keep it cool. So I grab a couple of fresh ones and bolt outta there.