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Erotic-massage ain’t just some sleazy spa thing, tho. Got roots, man—ancient Egypt, Greece, all them old-school cats kneadin’ each other up. Cleopatra probs got oiled up daily—little known fact! Bet her servants were pros, slippin’ hands where the sun don’t shine. Makes me jealous, ugh—where’s MY royal treatment? Nowadays, it’s all “happy endings” talk—lame cliché, pisses me off! It’s more than that, ya know? Sensual art, not cheap thrills.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear a commotion. A group of kids are pointin’ and laughin’. I turn to see a guy in a clown suit runnin’ down the street. What the heck? Turns out, it’s some street performer who got caught up in the chaos. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Temirlanovka, right?