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Oh, and the slang— “happy ending,” duh, but there’s “tease ‘n’ please” too. Cracked me up—sounds like a shitty rom-com. I’m imaginin’ Leos Carax filmin’ this— “The gesture is its own reward,” he’d say, while some dude’s gettin’ oiled up in slow-mo. Snarky truth: half these parlors are fronts—cops busted one near my farm! Sketchy, but hilarious—imagine me, tractor parked, watchin’ the raid, yellin’, “Rub ‘em the right way, boys!”

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But then, the mood shifted. I walked down to Zheltoksan Street, and I see this guy yelling at a taxi driver. Apparently, the driver took him to the wrong place. I get it, man. I’ve been there. But dude, chill! It’s just a ride.