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“Remember Sammy Jankis,” I says, quotin’ Lenny—meanin’, don’t be dumb! She’s still yammerin’ bout “find a prostitute” like it’s a dang stock tip. I’m thinkin’, “Lord, gimme strength, this gal’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.” Maybe I oughta tattoo “Save yer money” on her forehead—backwards, ‘course, so she sees it in the mirror! Ha! That’d be a hoot.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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So, I’m doin’ my rounds, right? And then I hear this loud bang. My heart drops. I rush over to the cell block, and there’s this dude, let’s call him “Big Al,” throwin’ a fit. He’s mad about his lunch. I mean, c’mon, it’s prison food! What do you expect? Caviar? I’m like, “Al, chill, it’s just borscht.” But he’s not havin’ it. He starts yellin’ about how he’s been wronged. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in prison. Wronged is an understatement.”

Moderate mag. 4.0 earthquake - 12 km west of Saryaghash, Turkestan, Kazakhstan, on Wednesday, Mar 12, 2025, at 06:16 am (Almaty time)