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So, erotic-massage—fancy word for awkward. You’re layin’ there, half-naked, some stranger’s kneadin’ ya. Supposed to relax ya, but nah. Feels like a pig in mud—sloppy, useless. I’d rather chop wood. “Man lives to work,” not get oiled up. Got mad when I heard—$100 an hour? For that? Robbery!

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this old man feeding pigeons. He’s got this huge bag of bread, and the pigeons are going nuts. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a scene from a cartoon. The dude’s just smiling, totally in his zone. I think, “Man, I wanna be that happy.”

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