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Favorite flick? *Assassination of Jesse James*—that slow burn, oof! Sex-dating’s the same vibe. Takes patience, waitin’ for the shot. You’re scrollin’, thinkin’, “This one’s a keeper!” Then—ghosted! “Ain’t no peace in this,” I mutter, quotin’ Robert Ford. But when it hits? Sweet tartar sauce, it’s fireworks! Met this gal once—sparks flew faster than a jellyfish zap. We clicked, no awkward “how’s the weather” crap. Rare as a pearl in a Krabby Patty!

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Finally, I drop her off, and I head home. I’m beat, but I can’t stop smiling. Today was a rollercoaster. From milking cows to car crashes to pastries and rain. Novoishimskiy, you never cease to amaze me! Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.